The Pain You Can’t Work Your Way Out Of

She sat across from me, eyes tired but determined.
“I’m doing everything I can,” she said. “Therapy. Journaling. Working on my marriage. But no matter how hard I try, the same pain keeps coming back. I thought if I just worked through it, I’d finally be free.”

Can you relate?
That sense that if you keep pushing, keep analyzing, keep gritting it out—eventually you’ll reach peace?

But here’s the quiet truth: grit can carry you a long way, but it will never love the part of you that feels abandoned, ashamed, or unworthy. And until those parts are loved, they’ll keep tugging at you no matter how much effort you put in.

What if instead of “working on” those parts, you simply opened your arms to them?

• The part that feels lonely when the house is too quiet.

• The part that whispers guilt over a marriage that didn’t unfold how you hoped.

• The part that remembers what it felt like to be abandoned by those who were supposed to care for you.

Picture those parts as children, waiting for someone to notice them. Then imagine yourself wrapping them up, one by one, saying: “You belong. You are safe with me. Even here, even now.”

That’s not weakness. That’s Grace.

And when you finally feel safe enough in your own body to allow it, everything begins to shift. This is why I offer neurofeedback—as a gentle reset for your nervous system. Not another “fix,” but a way to feel safe enough to soften, so you can stop fighting against life and start aligning with it.

👉 Reflection: Which part of you is waiting to be held with compassion right now?